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The Sober Dwarf from Valkrien Terramore's blog

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The Sober Dwarf, a tavern song by Valkrian Terramore


Oh, freely the taps flowed, within some small bar;

Drinks were downed greedily, with food and cigar!

But wait! Something was wrong, something bizarre!

The strangest thing mankind had witnessed so farrrr…


A sober Dwarf! A sober Dwarf...

Don't close your eyes, they tell not a lie!

A sober Dwarf! A so-ho-ber Dwarf…

It makes no good sense, the end must be niiiigh!


Alone he sat there, sipping at his tea…

Silently reading, eyes calm and carefree!

But how could this be? A bad omen surely!

He frightened the patrons, who whined a great pleeeea…


Drink up, you Dwarf! You sober Dwarf…

Your kind must be drunk! To not would bring disaster!

Anything, Dwarf! You so-ho-ber Dwarf...

The gods, they'll kill us! Please drink, do it faster!


Alas, the ground started to quiver and shake,

And The Cataclysm began with a terrible quake!

What even was this bastard, this prude, this fake?!

The titans were baffled, thus Azeroth would breeaaak…


And so this Dwarf, this sober Dwarf…

He said 'No! I won't give in! I won't eeeven do it!

I am a proud Dwarf! A so-ho-ber Dwarf!

And if that means the end, then just get right to it!'


So the apocalypse came with gloom and hellfire!

Because of this man's choice, so wrong and so dire!

That all space and time would then surely expire,

Because of this lone Dwarf in the town of Goldshiiire…


So if you ever see a Dwarf, a sober Dwarf!

Give him all the booze you can possibly lend!

Buy an ale for that Dwarf, that so-ho-ber Dwarf…

For a dry Dwarf existing is surely the ennnnd!



Stereotypes are fun and inoffensive, people!


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Kitaz Wolfwitz
Nov 16 '18
This is great! 5/5. Would definitely sing again.
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By Valkrien Terramore
Added Nov 16 '18

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