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⁣Unhappy Tavern Crawl, mortals!! from The Great Nyehehe!!'s blog

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The Great Nyehehe hates that alchemical abomination of alcohol even at the least irritating of settings, but in this darned district of wannabe wizards!?! Bah!! He utterly loathes it!! Why you boorish, bearded brutes and friendly, fuzzy fools so adore it is simply unfathomable to one as incredibly smart and intelligent as The Great Nyehehe.

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“Ach, calm yer ‘stache, lad! I’ll show yeh how to have fun drinkin’ beer and ale and all that wonderful brewy stuff! It’s wot us dwarves do best! Other than minin’, and explorin’, and smithin’, and havin’ beards, and...”Drinking?Ale?

Drinking?

Ale?

The Great Nyehehe?

Lad?

Bah!! The Great Nyehehe ought to obliterate you for even suggesting that, you Dun Morogh doofus!! He sinister sips only the blood of his enemies, and only when served in a skull that’s been carved into a chalice!! Obviously!!

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“Settle down, lad! Here, I’ll buy yeh a drink! ‘S our first stop on the ‘ol Tavern Crawl afterall, eh?”

Blech. Most definitely nyet.

“Nae? Well, can’t believe ‘m sayin’ this, I’ll show yeh a grand ‘ol time anyway, even without beer! C’mon, yeh ‘ol git!”

The only “Grand old times” The Great Nyehehe has were eons ago when he conquered entire worlds, galaxies!! Nyehehe!!

“Er... Right...”

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“So we’re at Lower Shattrah city, eh? Yeh will neveh find a more wretched hive ‘o scum and villaineh. ‘Cept maybe for the Undermine.”

You are aware that The Great Nyehehe is right infront of you, nyes?

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The Great Nyehehe isn’t having fun at all. Who would construct a blasted bar on an old blasted boat? The Great Nyehehe’s feeling seasick from just watching you drink that dratted mug.

“Ah, ‘s a great atmosphere! Look oveh there! The bathrooms sign says it’s the Poopdeck! Har har har!”

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“Ain’t this great, lad? Drinkin’ with ‘ol friends?”

The Great Nyehehe has just met you and this knife-eared nitwit, and he already regrets it tremendously.

((The whole post did not fit, unfortunately, so please visit https://thegreatnyehehe.tumblr.com/post/163652203158/unhappy-tavern-crawl-mortals#notes for the remaining half. Thank you, and sorry about that!))


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